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Karen Howells's avatar

Having lost my Dad to Alzheimer's and my Mom to Frontal Lobe Dementia, I know how helpful humor is! And I noticed for my Dad that he never lost his sense of humor. Just 2 weeks before he passed away, the staff at his care facility organized some crafts for Christmas. Dad sat down at the craft table, found a paint brush and loaded it with red paint. With a rare twinkle in his eye, he then put a big dob of red paint on the end of his nose. One of his last moments of delight before he passed away.

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Oh, Karen ~ your comment actually made my day. Thank you! Thinking about your dad dobbing the end of his nose with red paint at Christmas lightened my mood. It has been so rainy & dark here the last couple days. {{Hugs}}

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Karen Howells's avatar

🤗💕

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Cathey Cone's avatar

Thank you for sharing this, Jan. I tend to flip sarcastic remarks pretty often and if you don't know me well, you might take offense. They don't translate well on social media at all. But I do believe that it's so important to be able to laugh in the midst of hard things. You weren't laughing at Alzheimer's, you were laughing at yourself, but it struck a nerve with someone who is in it. One of the things I love most about you is laughing right along with you. You can count on me to never be offended when you are funny! Love you!

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Love you right back -- and that's no joke! xoxo

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Janice Walton's avatar

I could have used humor a lot more when my husband was struggling with Alzheimer's; it might have made the journey a bit easier.

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

I thought of you every minute while I was working on this. There are definitely more difficult moments than there are humorous moments. I reread my mom’s journal & I cried. I can honestly understand why my FB friend was angry with me. You women who have been caretakers for your husbands are exceptional human beings — and I admire you so much. {{Hugs}}

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Jan Coyne's avatar

You’re an amazing writer, Jan! Love reading these pieces!❤️❤️

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Thanks, Jan! I wish we had gotten more time to talk at Bacons' 50th anniversary party. Next time... {{Hugs}}

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Rose's avatar

Ah, that's sweet, that she didn't want to get in the boat and fall in the water! Sometimes in the darkest moments of life, humour will push its way in, whether it was invited or not. Our sister-in-law made us all laugh with a totally innocent remark that was way off base to the situation at hand. The trouble was, we were at the door to the crematorium when we all emerged from the car laughing.

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Oh gosh, Rose -- the thought of that makes me laugh. Thanks for sharing. xoxo

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Patti Petersen's avatar

I need to ample up my sense of humor. I haven't had a good 'laugh so hard' I start crying, snot running down my nose, rolling on the ground moment in a few months... time to find one!! Great read!!

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

I know what you mean. I’m going to a friend’s lake house with some girl friends next week. Hoping for at least one of those moments. xoxo

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Patti Petersen's avatar

Have fun at the lake house!!! Share pictures and the fun with us.

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Irene Kigais's avatar

Great piece of writing that touched a lot of important topics! My answer to your question is YES 🙌 ….all the time!!

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Thanks, Irene! I'm glad you are in the "good humor club" with me. xoxo

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Jackie Secoy's avatar

I love reading your essays, Mrs. Stoneburner! The teacher practices the art! Laughter was a key factor in the months following my mother’s death. In my long commute to work, I listened to audiobook biographies of women comedians. It lightened my heart and mind during that raw time. Thanks for your writing!

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Thanks, Jackie! I love knowing you’re reading the blog. Thanks for commenting. ❤️

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Barbara N.'s avatar

No, we forgot how to laugh. The stress of it all. Loosing one's family member slowly; both physically and mentally is cruel. Dementia is a terrible thing to watch. I would not have let my dog go through this and yet my beloved husband had to go through days, weeks and months of this! We did not laugh. No we did not laugh. It was not until the Thanksgiving Dinner after my husband's death, some 8 months later when my daughter cut 6 pieces of pie including one for her dad; who was't even there that we all just started laughing.....finally. At the one year anniversary of my husband's death we went to visit the cemetery. We did not bring flower; but instead brought my husband's favorite Pecan Pie! We cut 6 slices and enjoyed 5. One was left for him!

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Oh, Barb ~ you are right. It is definitely easier to laugh & talk about good memories later. I think our saddest times were when Don quit recognizing my mom, his wife of 20+ years. It really hurt her when he accused her of being a stranger. Thanks for sharing! {{Hugs}}

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Shari McIntyre's avatar

Jan I love how you always make situations like this light hearted. Laughter is definitely the best medicine for when things like this happen. I remember when my sister was getting married my dad came out of the house with bib overhauls on no teeth because he wore dentures and a shot gun with this black hat on. I looked and just bursted out laughing. Now when it was time for the wedding of course he was dressed in his tux for the special moment. Though at the time he really had us rolling on the floor. It’s moments like that I have to remember. Because he left this world a year ago. And for your friend Donna who put the confetti in the cards what a way to remember her and all that confetti on the floor. Laughter is a great thing. Thank you for sharing Jan.

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

OMG Shari ~ I would have loved your dad. What fun he must have been! I'm hoping to find some confetti lying around the house some day unexpectedly. xoxo

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Rita Waters's avatar

With humour and wonder with fabulous writing. This was just great. Sorry the oops took my train of thought away. Anyway loved this, thank you. Hugs❤️

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

xoxo

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Rita Waters's avatar

I love the way you take on the good and bad of life’s circumstances

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Jan Stoneburner's avatar

Sometimes I wonder why I look at life the way I do. Then I remember my mom. Ha! She and I used to butt heads a lot. Must be because we were a lot alike. Thanks for commenting, Rita! I love it when you do. {{Hugs}}

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Rita Waters's avatar

Oops

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Debbie Brooks's avatar

I love this Jan. Laughing is healing. 💔💔

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Rose's avatar

Yes, we were following right behind the hearse, when my sister in law says, "At the rate people are dropping in this family, we'll be lucky to need a chicken this Christmas!" Then we get out of the car at the crematorium door, laughing, and everyone else is looking like they're at a funeral.

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