ALZHEIMER'S IS NOT A JOKING MATTER
Or Is It?
At my age, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t have a twinge of worry about getting Alzheimer’s. Every time I get in the wrong car uptown, forget to put the laundry detergent in the washing machine, miss my hair appointment or realize I’ve already told the same story five times, I’m sure “I’ve got it!” My very first post on Substack three years ago was actually called C.R.S. (Can’t Remember Shit) I hope you’ll check out the link I provided. I think you’ll enjoy it.
If I hadn’t developed a sense of humor over the years, I’d be a mess by now. Researchers have proven humor is good for both your mental and physical health — preventing depression, lowering blood pressure, easing muscular tension and a lot of other things. In other words, providing RELIEF — a way to release negative energy.
I can guarantee you, however, not everyone feels that way.
I recently posted an off-handed remark on FB when I was having one of my twinges. I walked into our local Wal Mart after they had moved everything around — I mean everything— and for a split second I worried if I had driven to the wrong city. I know that’s weird, but come on. You know you’ve listen to the evening news when they’re searching for an old person who has wandered off. Ha!
Well, one of my so-called Facebook friends immediately messaged me with an angry emoji and “Alzheimer’s is not a joking matter especially when you know nothing about it.”
Oh, but I do. It was really sad to see my step-dad, a man who had worked on Mt. Rushmore and had a highly successful career with Standard Oil, get lost in his own house. He was such a loving husband, father and grandfather when he remembered us. It was hard watching my exhausted mother grieving at the same time she was taking care of him 24-7 for nearly seven years.
Honestly, some days were better than others. There were times we could actually laugh about the silly things that happened, relieving our endless stress. I remember the time Mom called to say Don had really gotten upset with her the night before. He was standing in the living room yelling for her to get on the boat, but she refused. I said, “Mom, why didn’t you just get on the boat?”
She laughed, “Well, I couldn’t see it, and I didn’t want to take a chance of falling into the water.”
Another time I was in the living room when Don came in studying his coffee mug, “Jan, there’s something wrong with this coffee. It’s too hot. No, it’s too cold.”
All of a sudden, I heard a grouchy, exhausted voice coming from the kitchen, “ G@# D*&$% it, Don, are you drinking the dishwashing detergent?” I guess my mom had put the burnt coffee carafe she was soaking all morning on the stove.
I looked at my stepdad and giggled, “How dare you, Don?”
Although the twinkle in his eyes was much dimmer, he winked at me and laughed, “Whoops!”
We weren’t making fun of this wonderful man. We were using humor to strengthen our relationships, to recognize the irony of every day life, to relieve our fears, and to avoid negativity. They say our environments, life experiences and social interactions combine with our personality traits and our genetic predisposition to create our own unique senses of humor.
Here’s my mom’s sense of humor: One year I couldn’t make it for our annual Sanibel vacation so she took a “dummy” of me along.
Just recently I faced one of the saddest moments of my life. I sat in an ICU room holding my good friend’s cold hand as her husband tried to decide whether or not to remove her from life support. Donna was one of the most giving person I have ever known. She insisted on sending everyone birthday cards, anniversary cards, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, St. Patrick’s Day and Halloween cards — filled with colorful glitter and metallic confetti. All of a sudden I chuckled, “Donna, who’s going to send me all those darn cards when you’re gone?”
Her husband laughed, “Yep, that’s one thing about Donna. You need a trash can to open her cards.”
Later, when I asked the ICU nurse if we seemed callous by joking, she said, “Oh, no. Everyone handles death differently. Really, it was a very sweet moment.”
I agree with a writer from the Big Think website who wrote, “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.” What could be wrong with that?
Go. Ahead. Laugh.
It’ll Be OK.
~~~
“Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I just sit in the park and laugh at all the joggers. “ ~~ Cool Funny Quotes
QUESTION: Do you ever laugh to relieve stress?
Having lost my Dad to Alzheimer's and my Mom to Frontal Lobe Dementia, I know how helpful humor is! And I noticed for my Dad that he never lost his sense of humor. Just 2 weeks before he passed away, the staff at his care facility organized some crafts for Christmas. Dad sat down at the craft table, found a paint brush and loaded it with red paint. With a rare twinkle in his eye, he then put a big dob of red paint on the end of his nose. One of his last moments of delight before he passed away.
Thank you for sharing this, Jan. I tend to flip sarcastic remarks pretty often and if you don't know me well, you might take offense. They don't translate well on social media at all. But I do believe that it's so important to be able to laugh in the midst of hard things. You weren't laughing at Alzheimer's, you were laughing at yourself, but it struck a nerve with someone who is in it. One of the things I love most about you is laughing right along with you. You can count on me to never be offended when you are funny! Love you!