TROUBLE COMMUNICATING?

Well, Men & Women Are Different

Ah, I remember when I was first falling in love with my husband how we enjoyed talking to each other for hours.  We were actually attracted by our differences.

But it didn’t take too many years of marriage before we realized we were actually speaking different languages.  I’ll never forget a couple of the silly arguments we had early on.

There was the time I  announced, “I’m not very hungry tonight.” And I looked up to find my husband fixing himself a bowl of cereal.  Indignant, I asked, “What are you doing?” 

“Fixing  a bowl of cereal. You said you weren’t  hungry.”

“You never get it.  What about me?  I wanted to go out to eat.”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

Or another time when my husband came home and found me in the garage looking at the roof  of our van.

“I think I might have put the garage door down on the top of the van.”

“You better not have!” 

“Well, I did!”

Over the years after reading and rereading John Gray’s Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, we have gotten somewhat better interpreting each  other.  Generally, it seems I’m more dramatic looking for a particular/hidden response while he takes things more literally.

I’ve been known to fish for a compliment  or two when we go out.  “I’m feeling a little fat tonight. How does this dress look?”

“Fine.”

But several weeks ago, before I could even ask the question, my husband looked over and said, “You look pretty tonight.”   I almost fainted right there in the restaurant parking lot.  I couldn’t believe we were finally on the same planet.

Well, that was until something hilarious happened recently.

Our daughter Mindy came back to Upper  from a weekend trip to Hocking Hills State Park with some kind of allergic reaction – swollen eyes, etc.   While she was sitting in Urgent Care, she sent her dad a picture and said, “Boy, I’m a mess!”  

Several weeks later when I was helping my husband with his photo library, I asked, “Why do you have this picture in your phone?”

“That’s Mindy at Urgent Care.”

“That’s NOT Mindy.  That’s the “Cat Woman”  -- who’s  had too much Botox.”

“OMG!!!   She SAID it was her.”

But that wasn’t the funniest part. My husband  actually showed  that picture to  all his buddies at the golf course, assuring them Mindy  had been really sick.  When I told my daughter — a woman from Venus -- what had happened, she said, “Dad, I’m going to kill you!”  I hope he doesn’t take that literally .  Ha! 

Photo Credit: The Sun Jocelyn Wildenstein — The Lion Woman of NY

I loved it when John Gray, Ph.D. wrote, “Fortunately,  perfection is not a requirement for creating great relationships.”

Knowing that Men often talk to convey or gather information and Women talk sometimes to feel better, to think out loud, or to create intimacy can really help Martians and Venusians get in the same orbit.

I guess after 56 years we still need to work on it…

It’ll Be OK.

~~~~~

“When I call it a “Girls Night Out,” what I mean is that I’m not going to wear a bra.” ~ Maxine

COMMENT: DO YOU BELIEVE MEN & WOMEN COMMUNICATE DIFFERENTLY?