NUTTY

It'll Be OK.

Part 1

When I was a teenager, we used to make fun of some of the eccentric characters in our town.  We dubbed the old lady who walked in the middle of the street “Roadrunner”  and the old gal  who wore the same color head to toe   “Purple Purse.”   We called the old guy who had signs all over his yard “Protest Man.”

So I don’t know when it happened  exactly  -- but I became “The Squirrel Lady” in my old age.   Maybe it was   when I published that Declaration of War against the squirrels in my neighborhood  on Facebook???    

To be fair --  the squirrels attacked first.  It was brutal.   They began  invading every night.

The first wave chewed the wheel off our BBQ and gnawed an inch off the rain gauge.  And then, in another night  maneuver,  they annihilated twelve  inches of the plastic drainage pipe in the concrete around our pool. It seemed like a planned operation when four of them struck at dawn, eating all the corners off my pool furniture. My big flower pots looked as if they had been riddled with bullets  after an armed onslaught one night.

Initially, neighbors cheered me on  when they saw me running around the yard chasing the squirrels with a squirt gun.  But they weren’t too happy when I installed an ultrasonic pest repeller on our fence.  Who knew  the high-frequency sounds would hurt  their dogs’ ears?  

The battle continued…

The furry little attackers seemed to enjoy the red pepper I sprinkled around.  And they actually taunted the plastic owl I stationed in the tree.  I’ve never like chemical warfare, but I had no choice but to mask up &  spray the area with “Animal BeGone”  every night. 

People following   “The Invasion of the Squirrels” on Facebook sent  funny memes and  helpful hints in support.  Others left  squirrels made out of plastic, glass, pottery, & cast iron on my doorstep as a joke.

But there were others — others  who didn’t think my fight was funny.   Can you believe it?!  They were rooting for the enemy!  I even got hate mail when I said this

   was my next maneuver if the chemicals didn’t work.   

There is some scientific evidence that odd behavior increases with age because there is reduced plasticity of the nervous system.  But I don’t care!   It simply means as we age many of us become more vocal and more eccentric because we  don’t worry about social norms anymore.   It may embarrass our kids or make other mad, but boy, it’s fun, isn’t it?

                                                                          ~

“I found  a great way to carry my meds around – I load them in a Pez dispenser.”  ~ Maxine

HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING NUTTY?