My husband and I laughed the other day about how our conversations have changed over the years. As college-aged kids, we’d stay up all night debating philosophical questions with friends. Then as a young married couple, we spent a lot of our time trying to figure out how to catch the brass ring – how we could achieve wealth or success. What prize or reward was in our grasp?
But when our daughters were born, those lofty conversations changed to who was going to drop Misty off for piano lessons and who was going to pick Mindy up from the babysitter’s. It was work organizing our family’s schedule — and on most days we couldn’t find enough time to talk at all.
After our girls were grown and our granddaughters were born, we found ourselves lamenting the state of the world. It never failed. During the nightly news we would go on numerous tirades about how things had gotten worse in society.
Then something happened. “Whatever. We won’t be around to see it” became our new mantra. When someone asked us if we weren’t worried for our grandchildren’s future, we replied, “Have you met them? They’re smarter than we are.” Ha!
So here we are in our retirement years sitting on the pool house porch or peering out the kitchen window chit chatting about the menagerie of wildlife in our backyard. It’s quite a cycle…
J: I can’t believe how loud that tree frog is tonight.
S: He’s calling for his lady, Darling.
J: Look, Honey! MaMa Robin is getting ready to feed her babies.
S: Won’t be long until they leave the nest.
S: OMG did you see that huge hawk nail that squirrel? Get the camera.
J: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Surprisingly, we’ve had some really special visitors — even though we live in the middle of Upper Sandusky. One morning at dawn we spotted 4 pairs of little eyes peering out from under one of our bushes. We spent about 10 minutes guessing what they could be. When the sun finally came up and we could see the mother and her 3 babies, my husband regaled me with stories about Julie, his childhood raccoon.
We spent nearly a month watching and talking about a gorgeous red fox that squeezed in under our fence every afternoon. I commented so much about the beautiful creature on FB people began asking if they could come over to see it.
I hate to admit it but most of the conversations my husband and I have about the overly friendly rabbits and destructive squirrels are about how to get rid of them.
It seems as if we are spending fewer moments ruminating and grumbling about things. And one of us always remembers to whisper, “God’s here!” when we see a beautiful butterfly or praying mantis in the backyard.
Richard Ryan, author of a study cited in “How Nature Soothes The Soul,” claims we have a natural connection with living things and there is scientific evidence to prove the outdoors is extremely beneficial for us.
I have to admit my conversations with my husband seem to be more beneficial during these “porch-sitting” years. No, we’re not solving Life’s problems or figuring out the meaning of Life. We’re getting to know each other better.
And now one of us always finds the time to whisper, “ Glad we’re still here.”
It’ll Be OK.
~~~
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.” ~ Agatha Christie
COMMENT: What do you spend most of your time talking about?
The purpose of this blog is to encourage people of all ages to face the challenges of aging with a positive attitude. Life is hard… Please share That’s Good To Know today with someone who needs a smile. Thanks you!
Wonderful piece, Jan!
Absolutely beautiful progression of marriage and growth and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing!!