I DON'T HAVE TO PROTEST
If I Don't Want To
Are you being inundated with pleas to get involved in today’s political fray? To make a difference? I still chuckle about my younger days when my teacher friends and I were on the frontlines in Columbus feverishly waving our big apple poster with a huge screw through it.
As I’ve aged, I no longer have the desire to “use my voice” that way, however.
And so,
Today I’m re-sharing my blog entry: “SUCCESS — What Is It?” because I have a lot of new readers since its first publication on November 30, 2022:
When I was little, I used to dance around my bedroom singing into a hairbrush. I wanted to be a Rock Star. And then when I went to college, I first majored in theatre because I dreamed of being a world- famous actress.
Thank heavens, reality finally set in -- because I can’t sing or act. Ha!
For some reason though, I kept dreaming of doing something Big in Life. I still wanted to be Important.
Then I ran into someone really Big — literally big. He looked like a mountain over six feet tall, weighing at least 300 pounds.
I was standing in the hallway outside my classroom pointing my finger at a student, scolding him for cheating. Just as I was wagging my finger and saying, “I expected more out of you. You’re a football player!” a huge dark shadow loomed over me asking me to drop by his classroom after school.
When I stopped by Mr. Lab’s room that afternoon, he proceeded to chastise me for the way I disciplined the young man. “Would you say the same thing to a band member?” I was furious that a colleague, even though he was older and more experienced, would criticize me. He may have been right, but after that I always took a huge detour around him.
After Mr. Lab retired, I would often see him sitting on his front porch. He was usually in the same shorts and t-shirt drinking Pepsi. He always smiled and waved when I drove by. Gradually, I started smiling and waving back. Before I knew it, I found myself plopped into the welcoming arms of one of his empty rocking chairs confessing how sad and frustrated I had become because I wasn’t making a big enough difference in the world.
I know we must have talked for hours because we each drank several cans of Pepsi, but I can only remember one thing from that conversation. It changed my life. “Jan, all you can do is light a candle in your own corner of the world. Think what would happen if we all did that!”
I’d heard the Buddhist quote: “A thousand candles can be lighted from a single candle…” But I think it was God who kept putting big Mr. Lab in MY path to make sure I realized that you can be important from “your own front porch.”
So as an older person, I can confirm that it’s not about the size of your stage. It’s not about being on the nightly news. It’s not about the number of clicks & shares. It’s not about being famous. It’s about being — the Light for someone else.
In this world of 7.5 billion people, sometimes it’s hard to believe we really matter.
But we do.
With my corner of the world getting smaller and smaller as I age, I find that I’m still not setting the world ablaze. But I’m alright with that now. Perhaps by just donating my old golf clubs to a new young golfer, by finding a befuddled friend’s eye patch (in her pocket), by listening to a troubled teenager, by teaching a writing workshop, by donating to the food pantry, by holding my friend’s hand as she passed away
— or by writing this blog, I’m making a difference.
I’ll never know.
But right at the moment, I’m happy just serving my apples with hummus.
It’ll Be OK.
~~~
“Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re giving blood.” ~Bill Murray
COMMENT: HOW ARE YOU LIGHTING YOUR CANDLE?
Thank you for sharing this story. I loved it, and I think you have touched more lives than you know. I dreamed of making a big splash in this world when I was much younger. Now that the candle is burning down, I hope I touched someone's life in a meaningful way.
Here is my tiny little candle story Jan! A man; clearly disoriented and distressed would occasionally call my home and leave a message for his "sister" telling her that he was ill and most likely going to the hospital soon, but he loved her! Heartbreaking right? I occasonally picked up the call and told him that he had the wrong number. This sweet old man apologized profusely. The calls continued over several years! I then tried to block his calls. Enough already! Last Friday night my Rabbi gave a Sermon which struck a chord in my heart. He talked about doing tiny little things to change the world. Jimmy called again this week and left that same message. This time I called the police in my county pleading for a bit of help. I never heard back from them. This man needed a "Well Being Check"! Taking matters into my own hands I called the police in JImmy's area code. They were less than helpful. At the end of my rope , I called Jimmy! JImmy picked up the called. "Where are you Jimmy/" I pleaded? "I am in the hospital" he said, in a weak voice. I which hospital he was in and if I might speak to the tech who was with him. I left word with the floor Social Worker because at the point I pictured an old man in a hospital bed; alone, looking for his sister! The Social Worker never called me back. Finally, finally I talked to the floor secretary and told her my story. As a Jew it is a basic tenant of my faith to step forward and help someone like Jimmy. I told her the story and half way through I thought she would burst out in sympathetic tears! JImmy has no sister! But he has six brothers she told me. I asked her to have one of them call me. The next thing I knew JImmy was calling me from his hospital bed! He apologized for bothering me. He said that his brothers were coming by. One brother brought flowers yesterday. "No apologies necessary JImmy!" I told JImmy that I would be checking in on him now and then...... and he better be calling me to let me know how he is doing or I will get in my car here in Marietta, Georgia and drive to Athans, Georgia where he lives....So I have lit one small candle in this sad, sad, world. Look for those shiny pennies on the sidewalk,....They are out there!