BAG OF ROCKS

How To Carry The Load

When I was young, I had an opinion on everything.  And I didn’t mind telling anyone who would listen to me what it was.   As I’ve gotten older, however, I realize there is so much I don’t know – and  so  much more  I’m  not sure of.

So when I was invited to be the guest speaker at our Middle School’s Awards program recently,  I was excited, but nervous. What advice could I give kids growing up in 2023 – that I was absolutely sure of?   

I thought about it for a long time and remembered a saying my friends & I had in college:   “Everyone has their own bag of rocks to carry.” I knew THAT was still true.  And having observed nearly 4000 students over 40 years, I was confident I could share  the different ways I saw kids “carrying” their problems and challenges.  

At first, I asked the Honor Students to excuse me for a minute so I could talk to their parents – most of whom were MY former students.  After congratulating them on having such wonderful children, I told them if they disagreed with anything I had to say that night to just tell their kids when they got home that they knew me before I was senile. Ha! With that caveat I went back to talk to the kids.

I’m pretty sure I caught the students’ attention quickly when I brought out a big backpack of rocks and pulled out two labeled EXPECTATIONS and FRIENDS.  

The kids were very polite and attentive. But they didn’t show much emotion on their faces until I said, “Sometimes we don’t live up to our parents’ and teachers’ Expectations because we just do stupid stuff.”  I looked over and there in the fifth row was a young man with a smile from ear to ear,  shaking his head like a Bobble doll.  I got such a kick out of that I said it again, “Yep, we all do some pretty stupid stuff sometimes,” and  I thought that kid’s  head was going to fly off. 

When I starting talking about Friends ganging up on each other through text messages, MY own phone rang.  I can assure you that “Dancing Queen” even gets young teens’ attention. You see, I had arranged for  my daughter, a teacher there,  to call me when I started talking about cellphones. The kids got a kick out of it when she stood up and signaled  me that I should quit talking --  and  I teased back --   cellphones and Mrs. Newell were two of my biggest problems.

Since things were going rather well, I decided  to go ahead and actually demonstrate the three different ways kids carry  their “bags of rocks.” 

Now, I may have gotten a bit dramatic showing how a bag of rocks keeps getting heavier and heavier for those kids who don’t talk, who hide in their  rooms, and who only listen to sad music; but I think the Middle Schoolers got the point by the time I had to ask the assistant principal to help me  get off the floor. Ha!

Then I took the bag of rocks off my back and started swinging it around. I hoped I wouldn’t fall down. I wanted to show how bullies  try to hurt others when their loads are  too heavy. I spotted some kids looking out of the corners of their eyes.

Finally, I set my backpack down and told the kids one of the secrets to being happy was to put their phones & problems away for awhile this summer,   to have lots of fun doing the things they loved to do when they were little kids — to MOVE — to make mud pies, ride bikes, play softball, build  LEGOs, do crafts, paint pictures, explore the woods, sew doll clothes, perform plays, create dance moves, sculpt  Play Dough — to enjoy the moment.

Well, after that I don’t know how many parents went home and told their  kids “they knew me before I was senile,”  but I’m sure one young man got the message. He came up to me afterwards with an impish grin on his face, “Hey, thanks, I think I can  really get into that mud stuff.”

And you know what, I’m sure that kid’s going to be OK.

“I went to the gym and saw a guy on a treadmill with his feet up in the air. I asked him what he was doing and he said, ‘I’m running away from my problems.”  ~ Yanre Fitness

COMMENT:  What advice would you give a Middle Schooler about life?